0010-ETIQUETTE OF HUMAN RELATIONS
Lecture to 4th
year medical students at the Kulliyah of Medicine, International Islamic University, Malaysia 14th October 2000 by Professor Omar Hasan Kasule Sr.
ETIQUETTE WITH PATIENTS and THEIR
A. Bed-side etiquette
B. Dealing with the family
C. Informed consent
E. Giving bad news
18.2.2 ETIQUETTE WITH THE DYING
A. Making the dying patient comfortable:
C. Spiritual preparation.
D. The last stages
E. Death and burial
18.2.3 THE HEALTH CARE TEAM
A. General concepts and principles
of group work
B. Etiquette of teaching, learning in the health care team
C. Etiquette of care delivery in
the health care team
D. The health care team: general
E. The health care team: special
A. Nature and essence of communication
B. Face to face communication
C. Communication in small groups
D. Use of the telephone
E. Barriers to effective communication
A. Purpose of negotiation
B. Strategy of negotiation
C. Negotiation tactics
D. Management of a negotiation session
18.2.1 ETIQUETTE WITH PATIENTS and
A. BED-SIDE ETIQUETTE
Obligation to visit the patient,
wujuub iyadat al mariidh: The ward rounds fulfil one of the social obligations
of visiting the sick (KS 505). Visiting the sick has a lot of excellence, fadhl iyadat al mariidh, (KS 505). Care givers get a lot of reward from Allah for
fulfilling this social obligation in addition to the rewards for their medical work The caregiver should interact with the
patient as a fellow human. The human relation has priority over the professional patient-physician relation. Some bedside
visits should therefore be purely social with no medical procedures or medical discussions.
Etiquette of visiting a patient,
adab ‘iyadat al mariidh: The prophet regularly visited his companions who
fell sick (KS 505, MB #1956). His behavior at the bedside of the patient is good guidance for both the physician and the other
visitors to the patient. The books of sirah have preserved for us memories of such visits such as what the prophet said during
the visit (KS 505). The following are recommended actions during a visit to the patient: supplication, dua, for the patient (KS 505, MB #1961), reading Qur'an for the patient
(KS 505), and asking the patient for supplication, dua. The Qur'an is a cure, al Qur'an dawa (KS p. 338). Dua is a cure, al dua dawau (KS p. 338). The Prophet gave us guidance
on what can be said and what should not be said in the presence of the patient (KS 505). The following are enjoined: asking
about the patient’s feelings, sua'al anhu, doing good/pleasing things for
the patient, ihsaan, making the patient happy, tatyiib
nafs al maiidh, and encouraging the patient to be patient, tashjiu al mariidh (KS 505). The patient should be discouraged from wishing for death wishing death, tamanni al mawt (KS 524).
Appearance of the caregiver: The
caregivers must make sure that they are clean and are dressed appropriately. The type and style of dress create impressions
and convey messages. The dress, hair, and shoes of the caregiver must convey the impression of a serious, organized and disciplined
person. The use of cosmetics should be limited to just covering up any defects and restoring the normal, average, and natural
appearance. Excessive use of cosmetics conveys the impression of egoism and lack of seriousness. Perfumes should be used in
moderation to suppress any unpleasant body odors. Excessive use, when the patient
is aware that the caregiver is wearing perfume, is discouraged.
Mannerisms of the caregiver: Caregivers
must have a cheerful disposition, imbisaat (MB #2045). They must deal with patients
with leniency, rifq (MB # 2025). They must strive to do good, ma'aruf (MB #2024). They must also have only good thoughts about their patients,
husn al dhann. They must avoid evil or obscene words (MB #2026). It is important
for the caregiver to have full interaction with the patient but must still observe the rules of lowering the gaze, ghadh al basar, except when medical necessity dictates otherwise. Caregivers must not be arrogant and show off
(MB #2116). They must adopt an attitude of humbleness, tawadhu'u (MB #2117) all
Emotional involvement: It is very
wrong for caregivers to adopt a detached emotionally-neutral disposition thinking that is the way of being professional. Caregivers
must be loving and empathetic, tawadud & tarahum (MB #2018). They must show
mercifulness, rahmat (MB #2020). The emotional involvement must however not go
to the extreme of being so engrossed that rational professional judgment is impaired.
Covering of awrat: Both the caregiver and
patient must cover awrat as much as possible. However, the rules of covering are
relaxed because of the necessity, dharurat, of medical examination and treatment.
The benefit, maslahat, of medical care takes precedence over preventing the harm
inherent in uncovering awrat. When it is necessary to uncover awrat, no more than what is absolutely necessary should be uncovered. To avoid any doubts, patients of the opposite
gender should be examined and treated in the presence of others of the same gender. The caregivers should be sensitive to
the psychological stress of patients, including children, when their awrat is uncovered.
They should seek permission from the patient before they uncover their awrat. Caregivers
who have never been patients may not realize the depth of the embarrassment of being naked infront of others. An epileptic
woman who was embarrassed at the uncovering of her awrat during an attack came
to the prophet. He prayed for her and Allah answered the prayer (MB #1954).
Medical procedures: Caregivers must
be fully aware of their legal liabilities and responsibilities, mas'uliyat al tabiib (Sunan Abu Daud Kitaab al diyaat baab 24, Ibn Majah Kitaab al Tibb baab 16).
The rules of seeking permission, isti' dhaan, must be followed whenever caregivers
approach a patient. The patient must be forewarned about the approach of the caregiver and should not be surprised. The privacy
of the patient must be respected and he or she should be examined after getting permission. Medical care must be professional,
competent, and considerate. Medical decisions should consider the balance of benefits and risks. The general position of the
Law is to give priority to minimizing risk over maximizing benefit, dar'u al mafsadat
muqaddamu ala jalbi al maslahat. Any procedures carried out must be explained very well to the patient in advance.
Supporting care: The caregivers must
listen to the felt needs and problems of the patients. They should ask about both medical and non-medical problems. Supportive
care such as nursing care, nutrition, cleanliness, and ensuring physical comfort are as important as the medical procedures
themselves. In terminal cases it is only the supporting care that can be given.
Managing fever: Fever is a generalized
often non-specific patho-physiological response. It is a cause of much discomfort. Caregivers should detect it early and treat
it effectively. The prophet described fever as a blow of hot wind from hell-fire. He recommended using cold water to cool
the body during fever (MB #1972). Any additional methods of reducing body temperature should be used.
Managing pain: The caregiver should
comfort the patient in pain. He can explain that there is reward, ajr, for being
patient when suffering (MB #1953). The patient should persevere and not wish for death, tamanni
al mawt, because of extreme pain (MB #1958, 1959, 1960). The patient should be reassured that there is eventually a cure
for every ailment, dawa li kulli dai (MB #1962) so that there is no loss of hope.
Control of infections: The prophet
forbade a sick person visiting the healthy (KS 504) to prevent spread of infection. Precautions against spread of contagion
were also recommended (MB #1969). Caregivers are obliged to make sure they have all their infectious diseases treated so that
they are not a risk to their patients.
B. DEALING WITH THE FAMILY
Support: The family is also a victim
when any member falls sick. The caregiver must provide psychological support to them. Sometimes even material support may
be necessary. It should be remembered that part of the well being of the patient is to know that the family left behind is
Reassurance: Illness is a cause of
much anxiety for the family. The caregiver must take time to reassure the family by explaining what is going and assuring
them that the best care is being given. They must be told not to give up hope because Allah in His power can reverse the most
serious or critical conditions. In communicating with the family caregivers must make sure they do not violate medical confidentiality
except where it is necessary, dharurat.
Involvement: Caregivers should similarly
realise the importance of visits by relatives and friends and should plan their ward routines to maximize such visits. The
family can be involved in some aspects of supportive care. This is helping them fulfil kindred obligations, silat al rahim. It uplifts the patient's morale to see that the family care and are around being involved.
Interference: Caregivers should be
on the guard to make sure that the eagerness of the family to be of assistance and to be involved does not step beyond the
limits. The family may interfere with medical care causing disturbance of the medical routines. This should be resisted with
Conflict: Illness is a stressful
condition that generates anxiety in the family. It may initiate conflicts or aggravate existing ones. Caregivers may unwittingly
find themselves in the middle of such conflicts. They should have the clarity of mind to understand that it is none of their
business solving family conflicts. If they do they may regret it since they may become party to the conflict and are considered
by some members of the family to favor other members.
C. INFORMED CONSENT
Choice of physician: As long as patients
are conscious and are in full control of their mental faculties, they should be consulted about choice of physicians. Minors,
unconscious patients, and those who have lost legal competence can not choose physicians. Their legal representative, waliy, will have to make the decisions. The caregiver must realise that choice of a physician is a continuing
resolution and must make sure that there has been no change of mind on the part of the patient or the legal guardian. Permission
to treat must be sought at every visit though not necessarily in a formal way. It is illegal to treat a patient against their
will unless provided for otherwise by the Law in defined exceptional circumstances. As guidance to the patient in physician
selection, the following order of priority is followed: Muslim of the same gender, non-Muslim of the same gender, and Muslim
of the opposite gender.
Choice of treatment, food, and drink:
The sunnah has given us guidance about forced feeding and forced treatment (KS
505: Sunan al Tirmidhi Kitaab al Tibb Chapter 3). The patient retains freedom to accept treatment or to reject it. The patient
can not be forced to take any medication or undergoes any medical procedures. Treatment with new/experimental drugs or procedures
requires informed consent. If the patient has lost legal capacity, ahliyat, by
being unconscious or by losing mental capacity, the guardian, waliy, will take
binding decisions on behalf of the patient. Illogical refusal of treatment or food could be grounds for finding a patient
intellectually and legally incompetent making it necessary for the guardian to make the necessary decisions. Some situations
of refusal of treatment are not issues of freedom of choice but have criminal implications. For example a patient with pulmonary
tuberculosis who refuses treatment is committing the crime of endangering the lives of other members of the community. A parent
who refuses immunization of a child is endangering the health of that child and other children in the community.
The secret, al sirr: The Qur'an mentioned the term secret in many verses (p. 570 2:77, 2:235, 2:274, 5:52, 6:3, 9:78, 10:54,
11:5, 12:19, 12:77, 13:10, 13:22, 14:30, 16:23, 16:75, 20:7, 20:62, 21:3, 25:6, 34:33, 35:29, 36:76, 43:80, 47:26, 60:1, 64:4,
66:3, 67:13, 71:9, 86:9). The term secret is relative. What may be a secret for one person may not be for another. What may
be a secret in one place and at a particular time may no longer be a secret when time and place change. Secrets are of various
degrees of importance. Revelation of some secrets could hurt an individual. Others can hurt the whole community or the whole
ummat. Some secret information could be harmful if it is related directly to one
individual but could be harmless if it is generalised.
Concept of keeping secrets, kitman al sirr: Humans are capable of deliberately hiding and sitting on information (p. 986 3:72, 2:228, 2:271,
3:167, 4:42, 4:149, 5:61, 5:99, 6:28, 14:38, 21:110, 24:29, 27:25, 33:54, 60:1). Allah knows all what humans hide and reveal
(p. 986 2:33). The natural default situation is for humans to divulge and share information during conversations even without
being obliged or expecting any benefits. Keeping a secret therefore requires effort and discipline. Hiding information may
be praiseworthy for example if a person does not reveal is iman infront of enemies,
kitman al iman (p. 986 40:28). Keeping a secret, hifdh al sirr, entrusted to you in confidence is a sign of good Islamic character ( ). You may keep your own secrets from people who are potential enemies. The Prophet
taught us to rely on keeping secrets in managing our affairs, al I'itimad ala al kitman
fi qadhai al hajat ( ).
Secrecy could be negative if it involves hiding the truth that should have been spread to others, kitman al haqq (p? 2:42, 2:146, 2:159, 2:173, 3:71, 3:187, 4:37, 5:15, 6:19). It is also negative to hide evidence,
kitman al shahadat (p. ? 2:140, 2:283, 5:106). The basic position is to keep secrets
and information and not reveal them even if there is no foreseeable harm. It is part of good Islamic character not to reveal
all what a person knows. The Prophet taught that people should listen more and speak less.
Written Records: Secrets are kept
within the person, al kitman fi al nafs (p. 987 2:235, 2:284, 3:29, 3:118, 3:154,
27:74, 28:69, 33:37, 40:19). With development of writing and electronic technology, we now have other ways of keeping secret
information. The Qur'an mentioned the tools for producing written records as paper, sahifat
(p 979 20:133, 52:2-3) and the pen, qalam (p 979 68:1, 96:4). The Qur'an used the
term kitaab to refer to written records such as scriptures (p. 977 4:153, 6:7,
17:93, 21:103, 29:48, 34:44, 35:40, 37:157, 34:21, 62:5), the Qur'an ( ),
the record of pre-destination, kitaab al qadr (p. 978 3;145… 57:22), the
record of values, kitaab al qiyam (p. 979 98:3), the record of knowledge, kitaab al ilm (p. 979 27:40)., and correspondence letters (P. 979 27:28-29).
He process of writing was mentioned about evidence, kitabat al shahadat
(p 979 43:19) and contracts, kitabat al uquud (p. 979 2:235, 2:282-283). Writing
of false records was severely condemned (p 979 2:79). The prophet gave guidance about writing and writers (KS p. 452). In
a modern medical environment, many records are generated about each patient. These prove a challenge as far as keeping of
secrets is concerned because many people can access them. Besides their use in medical care, the records ca be used for medical
education, medical research, and for legal purposes. Prevention of access to records for educational purposes may fall under
the prohibition of hiding knowledge, kitman al ilm.
Basis for medical confidentiality:
Medical confidentiality has psychological, social, and legal bases. The psychological basis is the private and privileged
relationship of trust between the patient and the caregiver. Revealing secrets that occurred to a third party is a violation
of the trust. Such violation destroys future co-operation because the patient will hold back some information from the caregiver
thus impairing correct diagnosis and appropriate management. The social basis lies in the prohibition of spreading rumors,
namiimat (MB #2032) and backbiting. The legal basis is three Principles of the
Law, qawaid al sharia, and the Law of Property. The Principle of Injury, dharar, states that an individual should not harm others or be harmed by others, la dharara wa la dhirar. The Principle of Hardship, mashaqqa, states
that hardship mitigates easing of the sharia rules and obligations, al mashaqqa tajlibu al tayseer. Necessity legalizes the otherwise prohibited, al dharuraat tubiihu al mahdhuuraat. Necessity is defined as what is required to
preserve the five Purposes of the Law (religion, life progeny, property, and intellect). If any of these five is at risk,
permission is given to commit an otherwise legally prohibited action. The ownership of the records is not clear. Do they belong
to the patient, the caregiver that wrote them, or the institution?. Using the law of property, a product belongs to the person
who made it. In this case, the patient is the 'maker' of all the medical facts that are written and should be the acknowledged
owner of the records. The patient is also the only person involved who has most to lose if records are misused. Thus, the
contents of the medical records can not be revealed without the express permission of the owner. The general position regarding
medical records is that they are a secret that can not be revealed without specific necessity, dharurat, as defined by the law.
Release of information by the patient:
The patient should consider any injurious information as a secret and can not reveal it. If it is about his sins or dishonorable
shameful things, fahishat, he is forbidden. The prophet condemned al mujahir. A Muslim should repent and conceal his sins (MB #2037).
Release of the information by the
caregiver: It is prohibited for the caregiver to use the privileged medical information he has for any personal gain. For
example, he can not use his knowledge of the health of a businessperson to buy shares in a certain company. He can not advise
his relatives about marrying or not marrying a certain person because of what he knows about their health. Release of information
in the public interest is a more complicated situation. The question arises whether a caregiver is obliged to reveal disease
in a leader or airline pilot that could endanger the public? What should the caregiver do if he knows of a patient with a
contagious disease that is in the community and is endangering others? Is it a violation of privacy for the caregiver to share
medical information with other caregivers caring for the same patient? What about using the data for medical research or medical
education? How much can the caregiver tell the relatives of the patient without compromising the regulation of keeping secrets?
What should the caregiver do if approached by law enforcement agencies asking for specific medical information that can help
them solve a crime? Can a caregiver testify in court against his patient using information obtained during the medical examination?
All these are questions for which no easy answers can be given most of the time. The simplest situation is when the patient,
the owner of the records, consents to their release provided no other individual is directly hurt by such a release. There
are situations in which over-riding public interest will require refusing to release information even if the patient consents.
If the patient or his guardian do not consent, the caregiver can not release information except in situations of legal necessity,
dharurat, as defined above. Education, research, and crime investigations do not
fall under the category of necessity. In cases of court litigation, The caregiver could testify in criminal cases that involve
dhulm. The Qur'an forbids the revelation of the shameful unless there is dhulm (p 308 4:148, 24:19). The caregiver can not give false testimony (MB #1176). One of the ways for the caregiver
to decrease his risk of revealing secret information is to have only the minimum needed for his work. This means that during
history taking only those questions directly related to the medical problem should be asked. There should be no probing or
digging for unrelated facts.
Testimony in court: false witness.
Justice vs privacy. Revealing the shameful only if there is dhulm
E. GIVING BAD NEWS
The patient: tell half truth, do
not tell at all, white lie/technical lie
The relatives: to convey info to
patient in their own way
Officials: return to work, sick leave
18.2.2 ETIQUETTE WITH THE DYING
Narcotics are given for severe pain.
Drugs are used to allay anxiety and fears. The caregivers should maintain as much communication as possible with the dying:
patience. They should attend to needs and complaints and not give up in the supposition that the end was near. Attention should
be paid to the patient's hygiene such as cutting nails, shaving hair, and dressing in clean clothes. As much as possible the
dying patient should be in a state of ritual purity, wudhu, all the time.
The dying patient should as far as
is possible be helped to fulfill acts of worship especially the 5 canonical prayers. Physical movements should be restricted
to what the patient's health condition will allow. There us guidance on salat even for the unconscious patient (KS 505)
C. SPIRITUAL PREPARATION.
Death of the believer is an easy
process that should not be faced with fear or apprehension. The process of death should be easier for the believer than the
non-believer (KS 525). The soul of the believer is removed gently (KS 525, 525, 525).
Believers will look at death pleasantly as an opportunity to go to Allah. They should be told that Allah looks forward
to meeting those who want to meet Him (KS 525). Dying with Allah's pleasure (KS 525) is the best of death and is a culmination
of a life-time of good work. Thinking well of Allah is part of faith (KS 525) and is very necessary in the last moments when
the pain and anxiety of the terminal illness may distract the patient's thoughts away from Allah. Having hope in Allah at
the moment of death (KS 525) makes the process of dying more acceptable.
D. LEGAL PREPARATION
Helping patient make a will: During
the long period of hospitalization, the health care givers develop a close rapport with the patient. A relationship of mutual
trust can develop. It is therefore not surprising that the patient turns to the care givers in confidential matters like drawing
a will. The health care givers as witnesses to the will must have some elementary knowledge of the law of wills and the conditions
of a valid will, shuruut al wasiyyat. One of these conditions is that the patient
is mentally competent. The law accepts clear signs by nodding or using any other sign language as valid expressions of the
patient's wishes. The law allows bequeathing a maximum of one third of the total estate to charitable trusts, waqf, or gifts. More than one third of the estate can be bequeathed with consent of the inheritors. Debts must
be paid before death or before the division of the estate.
E. DEATH, BURIAL, and MOURNING
The last moments: The last moments
are very important. The patient should be instructed such that the last words pronounced are the kalimat, the testament of
the faith. Once death has occurred the body is placed in such a way that it is facing the qiblat. Eyes are closed and the
body is covered. Qur'an and dua are then recited.
Etiquette of morning: The health care giver should take the initiative to inform the relatives and friends. They should be advised
about the shariah rules on mourning. Weeping and dropping tears are allowed. The following are not allowed: tearing garments,
shaving the head, slapping the cheek, wailing, and crying aloud. On receiving the news of death it suffices to say ' we are
for Allah and to Him we will return'(KS 525). Relatives are comforted by telling them hadiths of the prophet about death.
These hadiths talk about the reward of the person who loses his beloved one and he is patient (KS 524) and the excellence
of one who loses three children (KS 524).
Preparation for burial: The health care team should practise total care by being involved and concerned about the processes of
mourning, preparation for burial and the actual burial. They should participate along with relatives as much as is possible.
The body must be washed and shrouded before burial. The washing should start with the right. The organs normally washed in
wudhu are washed first then the rest of the body is washed. Perfume can be used, Women's hair has to be undone. After washing
the body is shrouded, kafn, in 2 pieces of cloth preferably white in color.
Salat al janazat: The books of sunnat
have given guidance about the etiquette of salat al janazat (KS 162). As many persons as possible should participate in this
salat. If 100 persons pray for the dead, it is shafaa (KS 162). Dua (istighfar) in salat al janazat (KS 162).
Accompanying the funeral procession,
tash'yii an janazat: Burial should
not be delayed, ta'ajil bi al janzat (KS 161). Following the procession is enjoined
(KS 159). There are big rewards for accompanying the funeral procession (KS 159). There is more reward for accompanying the
funeral procession and staying until burial is completed (KS 160). The funeral bier is carried ny men. Hurrying in marching
to the grave is recommended.
Burial (dafn): face to Makka.
After burial: consoling relatives,
making food for the bereaved, adab of mourning (hidaad), condolences (ta’ziyah), inna lilaahi wa inna ilayhi rajiuun.
Talking good about the dead.
Talking about the deceased: Say only
good things. The good words about the dead, thanau al nass ala al mayt (KS 160)
Special cases: Case of woman who
dies with a fetus in her woumb. Opening grave for forensic exam. Carrying the dead for burial in another country
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